A control freak out of control

So you only have to be pregnant for a few weeks before you start to become very sensitive to all the things you see on TV or read or see in real life about what can go wrong with your child. Think about how many stories you see on TV about children being born with this disorder or developing this illness. Or I think back to the ways I used to play as a kid, especially with my brothers, that were so dangerous! We all had our share of injuries but thankfully we healed from them without any permanent damage. But that's not always the case for some kids...

At first I thought, well I'm just going to be really good at taking my prenatal vitamin and exercising so that I can do everything possible now to help our baby be as healthy as possible. Or I would even see babies born with illness and think, well that wouldn't happen to me. What are the chances? But the more I see on TV or hear in real life, the more I realize I am so not in control. So not in control. I can't think of any other time in my life when I have cared so much about something that I have absolutely no control over. I long for a healthy baby. When I see our life with a baby, I see only a healthy baby. But I know I'm not guaranteed that. So what keeps me from going crazy and locking myself indoors?

Enter... my faith. The funny thing is we've never been in control. I think anyone can share a story about something they thought would happen that didn't play out the way they wanted (i.e. getting married by a certain age, having a child at a certain time, getting that job you wanted, having the "happy" life you pictured for yourself, etc). Check out this proverb... "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." (16:9) So for me it's simple: I am not in control of the future of our baby but I believe in the One who is. I trust the One who "created my inmost being", who "knit me together in my mother's womb" and who is busy doing the same for our child.

Whenever I start to feel those fears creep up in my mind about all the things that can go wrong, I consciously stop those thoughts and I pray to my God who is in control. Who knows what is best for myself, Mitchell and our baby. Who LOVES me so deeply and who knows "the plans I (God) have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". This gives me peace. This helps me relax. This helps me relinquish whatever control I think I have a hold on. God is in control and He can do a much better job than I ever could. :)